222 weeks ago I acquired a spiral fracture in a high heel accident... I often think how much less of an ass I'd sound like if I could instead say it was a "high speed accident" or that I got damaged in a street fight... But no, I snapped the ol' stick on my first night in L.A., after my traveling companion and I finished off a bottle of Southern Comfort and headed out on the town. In a fateful irony, I was steps away from entering a cab that would take us back to our hotel room, when it happened. Unbeknownst to me, the spike of my heel had been stripped to the metal and could no longer provide balanced support to the drunken goddess it carried forth.
Ego was working overtime that night... Refusing the severity of my condition, I raged against (and in spite of) an injury which threatened to divert the unbridled path of self destruction upon which I was walking. Instead of heading to the emergency room, I clung with desperation to my ruination, managing to track down ways to dull my physical pain AND "keep the party going." I succeeded tremendously. I am both ingenious and relentless when it comes to my own undoing.
So, I staved off going to the ER for a whole 48 hours, before everything wore off and I was able to properly assess my situation. It was worse than I thought... When I asked, doctors wouldn't give me an answer about whether or not my foot could even be saved. After multiple trips to the ER in Long Beach, I flew back home and sought the care of an orthopedic specialist. The doc couldn't schedule surgery for over a month, so I laid in rest with an unset fracture, feeling captive by my own broken body.
Eventually screws were secured and surgery was behind me. But it was many months before I regained full mobility. I had a very long time to reflect. By the time I could walk again free of assistance, I had adopted a myriad of self care techniques, experimenting with raw foods, mindfulness and yoga in order to provide energetic sustenance. I turned my attention outward, just enough to completely landscape and redesign my backyard, which had become a neglected and overgrown jungle of thorns. As with my own internal jungle that manifested outwardly as brazen chaos, I was able to begin reigning in the energy of the physical garden landscape, sculpting it to mirror my vision of harmony. I worked tirelessly to achieve and maintain a balance between natural wildness and polished grace. Edward Scizzorhands ain't got shit on my topiary skills.
I kept a healthy number of the black raspberry bushes that made their presence felt daily, drawing my blood to the earth. Indeed, I have come to understand the vines and thorns of my external garden as a direct reflection of my inner world and the spirits entwined therein (more about this another time).
I have found that the physical assaults and traumas we endure (whether self inflicted or otherwise) have much to offer in the way of teaching ♡ My broken leg came at a time when I was quite literally spiraling out of control. It was a necessary and divine intervention. Nothing else could have tamed my wild ass, long enough to gain perspective the way being taken completely out of commission did.
Thank you faulty high heel. And thank you to the higher self who placed it tenderly on my cloven hoof, just like Cinderella's glass slipper.
